1154 Long Distance Relationships
Maria and Alex discuss if they believe that long distance relationships work.
Maria: Not that good. I had two relationships by now and both of them ended after me going somewhere. First time I was in Denmark but like I lived on a school in another city and while I was there for four months like I think two months after I went home to him and broke up and then came back to the school and just didn't really care. And then the second time I went traveling and I missed him so much and I came back and realized that there was nothing left. I'd lost everything while I was away so I don't, after one month, after two months, I think it just doesn't work for me if it's not really special.
Alex: Yeah, I guess you're kind of like me. I have to see the person.
Alex: Almost, you know, daily.
Maria: Exactly and you can have conversations online and on the phone but if there's no, I don't know, it doesn't have to be much, just like be close, see each other in the eye.
Alex: It's a big difference, yeah. I did a month when I went home to Australia away...
Maria: This summer?
Alex: Yeah, this recent summer and like Skype is just not enough. Do you know what I mean? You can see the person, you can talk to them, you know you can kiss the camera if you want but it's not...
Maria: If you want.
Alex: You know it's not the same but that's not to say I don't think, some people can do it.
Maria: I figure if it's a very, like if the relationship is very, it's very passionate or you've been going on for a long time because both of my relationships were under one year I think. The first one was one year and the second one was half a year. So if we're used to staying together then I think you can work it out. I'm just too impatient.
Alex: Yeah, I guess under a year you haven't really learned to depend on the other person all the time.
Maria: Still going by the passion and if you can't see the person every day or like whenever you want, then the passion just slowly fades.
Alex: Yeah, agreed.
Maria: But this is your first relationship right?
Alex: Yes it is and I did one month when I went home away from the person and it was just...
Maria: And that was the first time you ever went away from the person?
Alex: Yeah and it was just aah horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible.
Maria: I remember the first time I like traveled while my boyfriend was still at home and it was a week and I was devastated so it's, if it's passionate it's...
Alex: Well I did Christmas away from them when I went to Christmas, I did India for Christmas last year.
Alex: And two weeks was bad enough and then a month and I was just pulling my hair out, do you know? So.
Maria: Yeah, it's hard.
Alex: It, yeah, it certainly is.
Under a year you haven't really learned to depend on the other person.
In this case 'under' means 'less than.' Notice the following:
- The whole process will take under a month.
- He will be back to work in under a week.
Look the other person in the eye.
When you look at someone 'in the eye,' you make eye contact with them. They are looking at you and you are looking at them. Notice the following:
- I hate talking on the phone because I can't look the other person in the eye.
- Look me in the eye and tell me how you feel.
Then the passion slowly fades.
'Passion' is a strong feeling of desire or love. Notice the following:
- Most relationships have a lot of passion at the beginning.
- We both have a lot of passion for our careers.
It was a week and I was devastated.
If you are 'devastated' you are overwhelmed with sadness or disappointment. Notice the following:
- He didn't get the job that he wanted and was completely devastated.
- She was completely devastated when her team lost the game.
I was just pulling my hair out.
You 'pull your hair out' when you feel really frustrated. Notice the following:
- If you spend too much time with him you will want to pull your hair out.
- Sitting in traffic when I'm in a hurry makes me want to pull my hair out.
Below are some more great lessons!
devastated • pulling